Overcoming the Self Sabotage Cycle- Monique McHugh Blog
Overcoming the Self Sabotage Cycle- Monique McHugh Blog
Overcoming the Self Sabotage Cycle- Monique McHugh Blog
Overcoming the Self Sabotage Cycle- Monique McHugh Blog

As you can probably guess from the title, we’re talking about self sabotage today! Fun topic right? We’re going to dive into why we sabotage ourselves, how to recognize when we’re doing it and how to stop. Are you ready to stop holding yourself back? Then this post is for you!

So let’s back up a bit. I’ve been on the Rachel Hollis train for a hot minute but haven’t yet shared the changes I have seen in myself as a result. When I read Girl Wash Your Face last year, I got a nice kick in the butt that ignited this journey! It is one of those really powerful books that you can’t just read once. Despite the fact that it holds several smack in the face moments, I couldn’t put it down and even read through it twice to highlight the things that truly impacted me. Rachel just has a way with words and her courage to freely speak the truth even if it means her own embarrassment is so refreshing. It was through the stories in her book, as well as a couple other perfectly timed podcasts, that I realized how much self sabotage I have had in my life the past few years.

The crazy thing is how easily our self sabotage goes undetected. We go through life and make subconscious decisions without ever stopping to think about it. We absorb the comments and opinions of others and listen to our own internal self critique. And before you know it, we’ve talked ourselves out of something we were super excited about the month before. That right there, is some hidden self sabotage!

I’ll give you some examples in my own life: 

  • Telling myself I would never enjoy going to the gym and the body I wanted wasn’t possible
  • Believing for years I wasn’t a reader and books just weren’t for me
  • Convincing myself that I’m not a social person and don’t do well when meeting new people
  • Listening to other people when they shared their opinions about what I should and should be doing with my life

Sound familiar? 

We as women have a tendency to criticize ourselves before we even step out and do something. We listen to the voices around us and value their opinions. Even worse, the thoughts that are rolling around in our head are filled with negativity and limiting beliefs. All day everyday, we badder ourselves with negative self talk and self sabotage and before you know it we believe the lies. The battle against self sabotage begins in your mind and with the things you allow yourself to believe.

It’s time to stop! If you’re ready to overcome your self sabotaging habits, here are some tips:

  • Pray!

    It’s easy to remain in a self critical, victim mindset if you are focused on only yourself. The easiest way to change this is to take your focus off yourself and put it elsewhere. I like to take time to pray and thank God for all the wonderful things He has done in my life. A few minutes of gratitude has a powerful way of changing your perspective and giving you a better understanding of the big picture

  • Be Intentional with your Thoughts.

    When we feel ourselves edging towards the unknown, we start looking for external validation. We convince ourselves we can’t do it before we even get started. Before you know it, you’ve talked yourself out of even taking the first step! Take those thoughts captive and be intentional lift yourself up with your thoughts.

  • Exercise the muscles that make you uncomfortable.

    This is a hard one, but the only way to get good at something is practice! That means you have to pay attention to what makes you uncomfortable and do more of it! The more you undo the limiting beliefs that are keeping you from stepping out, the less self sabotaging you will do.

  • Make a pump up playlist!

    Music has a way of changing our mindset and that can be used for the positive. Curate a playlist filled with songs that get you out of your funk! For me songs like Champion by Carrie Underwood and Right on Time by Aaron Cole help to instantly shake me out of my bubble and negative self talk. If you need some help getting started, check out my playlist on Spotify for some inspiration.

  • Release the need to control.

    I’m preaching to the choir on this one! I am a girl who loves control and a step by step plan. Because of that, I’ve realized that anything that leaves me feeling out of control turns into self sabotage if I’m not careful. I’ve had to learn to lean into the learning phase and be so careful not to stop just because the path is unclear.

  • Get active!

    This is my last tip but honestly the most important. When I stopped looking at the gym as a means to change my body and started looking at it as a place to clear my mind I started loving it. My only goal is to work out 30 minutes a day. No matter what it is. It’s my time to clear my head, remove the negativity, and start my day with intention.

I hope this post helps you to identify any self sabotaging you have been doing in your own life and begin to undo it! Mindset is truly everything. The first step is identifying the self sabotage in your own life and working to change your habits! You can do it friend 🙂

Want to check out Girl Wash Your Face and other books that have impacted me? Head over to this post for a list of books you should definitely read in 2019. 

Thanks for reading! 



  1. December 17, 2019 / 3:16 AM

    Love this!! It’s so easy to fall into incorrect and damaging beliefs about ourselves and what we can do. I have to keep reminding myself to challenge those thoughts and posts like this are a helpful reminder!

    • January 13, 2020 / 7:23 PM

      Yes! So true. Glad you enjoyed the post 🙂

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